


Even if it's poison

by beeseven



Category: GOT7
Genre: Bullying, Drug Dealing, M/M, Partners in Crime, Past Suicide Attempt, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Verbal Abuse, inspired by extracurricular, morally gray characters, they are good for each other, youngjae is kinda manipulative let it be said
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:54:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29070621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beeseven/pseuds/beeseven
Summary: “Do you need help with homework or something?” Jaebeom hasn’t moved a centimeter since Youngjae sat there, almost everyone has left already so Youngjae doesn’t bother being discreet, getting even closer to him.“I want to go out with you, so give me your number and let me pick you up tomorrow,” Youngjae doesn’t wait for an answer, taking Jaebeom’s phone from him.If before Jaebeom seemed like his best option now he is the only one Youngjae wants. All the time staring at him, planning for this moment made Youngjae quite obsessed with the idea of having Jaebeom. He was going to have him no matter what.
Relationships: Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB
Comments: 26
Kudos: 48





	1. THE BIG PLAN

**Author's Note:**

> title inspired by 'poison' btw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- hello, another wip but i swear this one will end soon, it's just to pass the time  
> \- this is heavily inspired by 'extracurricular' even tho it's not the same, so be aware  
> \- the tags make it seem way worse than it is, but still read them all and if you're not comfortable don't read it  
> \- if u decided to read pls enjoy :)

“You are not going anywhere dressed like this,” his mother says as soon as he walks into the living room ready to leave. Her eyes lingered on him for two seconds ‘till they went back to her phone, his father was also busy, he probably didn’t even hear them. 

Youngjae looked down at himself, he looked perfect, nothing out of place, everything immaculate from head to toe. Youngjae wouldn’t have picked this outfit himself, but it was his mother who bought it for him, so really he didn’t see a problem in it. He wasn’t going to protest, so he just walked back into his room in order to change. Before he could throw the entire closet to the floor his mother texted him what he should wear. 

He had to change the white trousers for black ones so that he wouldn’t look so big, her words. He could keep the red shirt, but everything else should be black. Youngjae almost picked a black jacket embroidered in sequins, but he knew she would make him go back and change again. So he just went if a plain one, it was one of the most expensive items in his closet, it had nothing special to it but the luxury brand. 

When he went back to the living room, his mother gave him a thumbs-up, and that was all the feedback he got. They were silent all the way to the brunch, it was past 4 PM when they made it there, it was a work thing for his parents but for Youngjae it was torture. He was hungry, and he wanted to steal a few drinks to make it worth his while, but he wasn’t allowed to leave his parents’ side to do anything, he had to nod and smile as they talked about business and stocks. Youngjae didn’t give a shit about any of it. 

If it was bad enough to have to pretend to be interested in his family’s company it was even worse when the Lees arrived. Youngjae knew Eugene was back, that was all his mother would talk about whenever she had the opportunity to talk to him, but seeing her and her family was a reality check. She wasn’t very different from the last time Youngjae saw her, just older and with more stylish clothes. In his parents’ eyes she looked even more perfect. 

Eugene hugged Youngjae tightly, complaining about how much she missed Youngjae but he wouldn’t call while she was in Paris or even reply to his texts. She should have taken the hint then, he thinks. 

She was the only one able to convince Youngjae’s parents to let go of him, they were more than pleased to do whatever the girl would ask them for. They left their parents talking, Eugene pulling Youngjae by the hand so they could eat near the poll, he wasn’t so hungry anymore though. 

“I didn’t know you were back,” Youngjae tries with a small, polite smile, but it makes Eugene roll her eyes in a joking way. 

“Your mom said she told you, and that you even promised to call me. I was waiting, you know,” this time Youngjae is the one who rolls his eyes, even though he doesn’t intend to. She could have called him if that’s what she wanted, Youngjae wouldn’t waste his time on that and she gotta know that by now. 

They have known each other since they were babies, Eugene was Youngjae’s first girlfriend, at least that’s what she and their parents loved saying. Youngjae wasn’t even old enough to date at the time, they were kids and were already being pushed to some future their parents dreamed for them. The future in question being the both of them getting married, never mind the fact that Youngjae is gay and his parents already know about it. It’s like they never heard his words though as if Youngjae admitting to liking boys didn’t matter for them. It probably didn’t. 

And even though Youngjae has barely spoken to Eugene in the past two years, and has never treated her as more than an acquaintance she still acts as if they are dating. Sending him gifts on Valentine’s days and holding his hand whenever they were together. 

They were able to grab some mimosas a little while later, Youngjae didn’t even know how many he had already drunk while Eugene was still on her first one. She kept talking about Europe, her mouth never stopping and any other day Youngjae would just endure it, but he was tired, he should be working on his English presentation and he was annoyed at her, at his parents, at everyone in that damn brunch. 

“I’ve been to Europe countless times, you know,” he stops one of her rambles, she looks at him with curious eyes, not getting his point. “What I mean is you don’t have to keep telling me every detail about it, I already know and I’m not interested,”

“Oh-- okay,” she averts her eyes, blushing shamefully. “What do you wanna talk about then? How is school?”

“It’s fine,” Youngjae wouldn’t want to keep this conversation at all, but if he leaves Eugene’s side he won’t hear the end of it from his parents. 

“I go back tomorrow, we will be in the same class,” she says the last part excitedly as she moves on the couch they are now sitting, so she can be closer to him. Youngjae looks over at her in disbelief, he had forgotten completely about the fact that if Eugene is back in Seoul she will also be back at school. Youngjae can not imagine the hell it will be to have to see her every day. 

She is not that bad, Youngjae would hang out with her as friends if she wasn’t as obsessed with this dating farce just like his mother is. Still, he decided to not say anything, whatever he would have to deal with at school he would worry about it later, for now, he turned Eugene’s voice off and focused on his drinks. 

Youngjae couldn’t pretend he wasn’t drunk on their way back home even if he tried, so he just didn’t bother, he closed his eyes and let his mother’s words wash over him. She kept complaining about Youngjae’s absence, he was going to be the next CEO he should make himself present, and should learn how to talk business. 

“At least you were with Eugene, I was worried you were still having those ideas…” she commented as if it wasn’t something major. Youngjae felt a pang in his head at that, she thinks Youngjae isn’t gay anymore if he spends time with a girl he doesn’t even like. He will never be free from that unless he does something. He has no idea what he should do but Youngjae can’t keep going like this or else he won’t ever find his way out. 

His mother even talks about marriage, as good as he is at ignoring everything she says that’s too much. It’s like a red sign telling Youngjae to do something while can. The boy spends the entire night thinking about his options over and over but can’t come up with anything. Everything he has tried to this day has failed, he needs something effective. 

Youngjae was dead tired in the morning, he was sipping on his coffee when he entered the classroom just to see Eugene already there talking to her friends excitedly. She ran to him when she saw him, hugging his arm. 

“You are here early,” her eyes shining at him. The other girls booed them jokingly, Youngjae doesn’t pay them any mind, sitting at his desk as he notices Eugene’s things on the desk to his side. He wants to yell already feeling suffocated, all the girls coming closer to them so they can resume chatting with her. 

Youngjae’s eyes run over the room, it’s louder than usual today and it’s not only because of Eugene and the girls. Every school has its local assholes, nothing new, Youngjae never cared for them or for what they do. It isn’t usual for them to bully some unfortunate souls, he has never seen them bothering Lim Jaebeom though. 

Lim Jaebeom was the top student from their school, no one had better grades, better attendance or behavior than him. He should be an easy target for bullies, but he didn’t look like the nerd stereotype, for starters he was stupidly handsome. Even if Youngjae didn’t pay much attention to him he had eyes, no one was beating Jaebeom in the looks department, he was also broad and strong, beating him up would probably take more than one guy. But on top of all of that, he looked like he could murder you, he never talked to anyone but the teachers, still everyone could see it in his eyes. They screamed ‘don’t mess with me’. 

So, Youngjae was curious as to why now out of nowhere they decided to torment him. Not that he was sure that’s what they were doing, he didn’t catch any of them hitting Jaebeom or anything, but Yoonsoo and his friends were never up to something good. It didn’t last much longer though, soon the classroom was filled with students and their teacher finally showed up. Everything went normally like any other day, except for Youngjae. 

He couldn’t take his eyes away from Jaebeom’s back, he sat in the first row right in front of the teacher, while Youngjae sat in the back corner. He couldn’t see much of Jaebeom but today he was trying his best to keep his eyes on the other. Youngjae couldn’t even tell why, it was just distracting and it helped him to relax. 

At recess, Yoonsoo and his friends were back to bother the two other losers they have been bullying for years now, Lim Jaebeom seemed to be safe for now, he noted. 

Eugene didn’t stick around, she left with her friends not wanting to spend her first day back in the classroom. Youngjae would be outside too, he usually played some games with his friends, even football sometimes, today he decided to stay. One of the plans that went through Youngjae’s mind last night was to find a boyfriend. He ruled it out as soon as he thought about it, it had to be someone bad enough for his parents to hate, for them to understand Youngjae was his own person. And he didn’t think a bad boy would be willing to stay with him considering what he would have to go through with his family. 

The thing was that whoever Youngjae decided to date in order to make his parents’ life living hell had to be in love with him. Youngjae hasn’t ever dated anyone, he couldn’t find someone with a bad reputation to fall for him that easily. But the more he looked at Jaebeom the more he was sure his parents would hate that boy. Even though Jaebeom was smart, the smartest person in the school, he was poor, he didn’t have the same background as Youngjae, he looked like a trainwreck and he wasn’t a girl. He was perfect for Youngjae. 

Youngjae smirked to himself, Jaebeom wasn’t like these pathetic losers who would do whatever they were told to but he was still a loser somehow. He was lonely, Youngjae never saw him talking to anyone in their class, people didn’t care for him at all, not even to ask for his homework. He was probably desperate for attention, making Jaebeom fall for him and stand up for him as well shouldn’t be any hard. 

Still, Youngjae decided to think it over a little more. He would observe Jaebeom intensely every day, from the moment he stepped foot in school ‘till he left. Jaebeom was definitely being bullied, Youngjae noted after a few days, even though he wasn’t silently letting himself be hit or anything he was being pranked every day, there was nothing he could do about it. 

It took Youngjae another week to make his final decision, he was having dinner with his parents, and while they ate as much as they pleased Youngjae only had a small salad in front of him. They acted as if Youngjae wasn’t there, it wasn’t so bad, but then his father wanted to know if he had a look at the company earnings spreadsheets. And kept asking questions to make sure Youngjae wasn’t lying. 

He decided to do something about them, Youngjae couldn’t run away, not now, he didn’t have enough money. Sometimes he just imagined his life without them, whenever they went on a trip he would expect them to not come back, hoping something would happen to them. It was useless, nothing ever happened, he would be trapped his entire life if he didn’t do something about it. And it was not that he needed help, he didn’t, he just needed to add a single piece to this game. 

Monday came around again, he was driven to school, chatted with his friends, and had to put up with Eugene’s affection. And again his eyes were still on Jaebeom, this time he would talk to him though. Youngjae watched as Juyeon, one of the boys who were bullied daily, glued bubble gum to Jaebeom’s hair, he was obviously told to do that. He could do something about it now but decided against it, Jaebeom hasn’t even noticed it while the group of boys laughed loudly. 

Youngjae waited ‘till recess, Jaebeom was trying to study but Yoonsoo and his friends were being obnoxiously loud near his desk. Youngjae got up, not caring for Eugene asking where he was going, he walked up to them without a word. 

“Need something?” Yoonsoo asked with a big smile. Youngjae wasn’t one of them, but he for sure wasn’t one to be messed up with, and they all knew that. 

“No, just wanted to talk to Lim,” Yoonsoo’s smile widened even more. 

“Be my guest,” he said pushing Youngjae in Jaebeom’s direction. Youngjae just wanted to turn around and punch him, he obviously thought he also wanted some part in tormenting Jaebeom. Well, somehow he wasn’t completely wrong, but he planned on tormenting Jaebeom in a different way. 

“Just the two of us,” Youngjae said with a fake smile and Yoonsoo nodded, laughing he pulled his friends with him, they didn’t leave the room, just moved to the back. 

Jaebeom didn’t look at Youngjae but he obviously heard him, he was just ignoring him. Youngjae didn’t mind it, he would change it soon enough. He bent over Jaebeom’s desk so he could speak in his ear, sure Youngjae wanted it to feel like a secret between them, but he also wanted to see how the other would react to him. 

“Come with me to the restroom,” he whispered, making sure his lips were closer than necessary to Jaebeom’s skin without touching it. 

Jaebeom looked at him intensely, it made Youngjae’s legs shake for a fraction of a second but he did his best to not show it. The other stared at him for so long, almost as he wasn’t going to grant Youngjae a reply. 

“Why?” He said finally, and again Youngjae felt his body shake, he still thought Jaebeom was a loser but he was so attractive as well, and his voice sounded so good when directed at him. Youngjae would never pick him if he wasn’t so attractive, he wouldn’t even be an option. But he being the hottest boy school for sure wasn’t a top necessity either, it was very appreciated though. 

“There is something in your hair, don’t-- don’t touch it,” he says a little louder when Jaebeom almost touches his hair to check what Youngjae is talking about. “Just come with me, I will take it out, you don’t need to give them the laugh,”

Again Jaebeom stares at him but it doesn’t last as long, he pushes his desk almost hitting Youngjae, and goes to the restroom without waiting for him. There are a few boys in the restroom when they enter so Jaebeom just stands there, doesn’t even look at the mirror. 

Youngjae stands by his side and doesn’t do anything either, he stares at the other boys ‘till they leave though. Then he looks at Jaebeom and takes out the small scissors he stole from Eugene and had hidden in his pocket. Jaebeom looks at it as if he is seeing a snake or something as scary, taking a step back. 

“What do you think you are doing?” He then takes another step back. Youngjae wants to laugh at his reaction, it’s not like he would hurt Jaebeom with the small pink scissors, but he doesn’t, keeping a straight face instead. 

“There is bubble gum in your hair, we need to cut it out before it becomes an even bigger mess and you have to go bald,” Youngjae explains but Jaebeom still doesn’t look convinced, so Youngjae takes his phone and snaps a pic of the back of Jaebeom’s head. 

He looks genuinely hurt when he sees the pic, Jaebeom’s hair is long and silky, really beautiful, it only adds to his good looks. Youngjae feels a little bad for not stepping in before, maybe they wouldn’t have to cut as much as he thinks they will have to now. 

Jaebeom snaps the scissors from Youngjae’s hand and before the boy can protest he is already cutting the hair lock off. 

“Is it all gone?” He asks because with that he for sure needs help. He turns around and Youngjae wants to yell at him, he would have done a better job not leaving a hole at the back of Jaebeom's head. 

“Not completely, it also looks really shitty,” Youngjae lets him know, in some parts he can still see bubble gum, sure most of it is gone but not all the way. “Just let me, yeah?” 

Jaebeom doesn’t say anything but he hands Youngjae the scissors, it’s not the easiest job and he can hear Jaebeom’s deep sighs, but not too long after that, he has freed the boy from any remains of bubble gum, and also from a lot of hair. 

“You should get a haircut,” he fills the silence in when it seems like Jaebeom won’t say anything. 

They are looking at each other through the mirror and Jaebeom gives him a small smile, still not what Youngjae wants but one step forward. 

“Let’s go back, classes are almost resuming,” and again he doesn’t wait for Youngjae, he just walks back to the classroom. Still, he stops at the door and turns around, stopping Youngjae from getting inside. “I don’t know why you did that, but thank you,”

But Youngjae knows exactly why he did what he did. He is eager to just put his hands on Jaebeom already, to just have everyone see them together. But he should be smart, it won’t even be that hard to get Jaebeom to like him, he only needs patience. And that Youngjae has a lot, he has been pretending to not hate everything and everyone in his life for years, has been doing whatever his parents ask from him just waiting for his moment. He can wait a little more. 

The next day Youngjae makes sure to get even earlier at school, there is just Jaebeom in the classroom. He knew the other always got there early but not that early, not before everyone else. He notices Jaebeom really got a haircut, he has a mullet now, by no means he looks better than before, it looks like he was the one who cut it. But it’s better than it was yesterday, and somehow he makes it work for him. It’s not like he would be able to look bad, it’s just not on him.

Youngjae doesn’t make a move though, he just sits at his desk watching Jaebeom as if he was his favorite drama. He isn’t doing much, he is studying and from time to time he will look at his phone. Texting someone probably. It makes Youngjae scrunch his nose, he thought Jaebeom had no friends even for texting, he supposes it isn’t that bad then. 

There are some other students in the room now but Youngjae doesn’t even look at anyone else. When Eugene gets there she tries to engage in conversation but Youngjae won’t bother replying, he is so annoyed at anyone who reminds him of his real life. He realizes why it’s so relaxing to look at Jaebeom, he is not just Youngjae’s hope to free himself but he is also completely apart from his reality. He is not part of Youngjae’s life and he doesn’t bring any bad memories with him. Jaebeom is just something new, something for Youngjae only. 

The thought excites him, but still, he wasn’t planning on talking with Jaebeom so soon, not wanting him to notice Youngjae’s hidden intentions. But then he sees Yoonsoo and his gang approaching Jaebeom and he isn’t about waiting for them to bully Jaebeom again. He has no idea why they are bullying him now but dating someone who could become the school joke isn’t in Youngjae’s plans. 

“I sit here now,” Youngjae drops his things on the desk by Jaebeom’s right side where Juyeon sits. The boy looks at him scared, he is scared of everyone so with Youngjae it isn’t different. The other boys look at him curiously and Youngjae just stares back, he hopes he doesn’t have to say anything, hopes they understand they can’t touch Jaebeom anymore. And indeed he doesn’t have to say anything. They all walk away having not even spoken to Jaebeom. 

Of course, Jaebeom won’t thank him, he won’t even look in Youngjae’s direction. And in reality, Youngjae was not expecting him to say anything, but not having his attention at all kinda makes him feel like he failed somehow. 

“Why are you sitting  _ here _ ?” Eugene walked to him and she has her things with her as if she is about to sit there as well. And no, just no, Youngjae won’t have it. 

“I needed a change of airs,” she still looks at him as if she expects him to say something more, Youngjae doesn’t know why but with her he always has to be clear to make a point, she can’t read him at all. “I want to sit here by myself, just me. So… please go back to your seat and leave me alone,”

She looks hurt, she rarely shows it on her face. Youngjae doesn’t enjoy hurting Eugene, he really doesn’t, but they already talked about it, they are not dating. She lets her parents get in her head, making her believe they will get married after college, they won’t. Youngjae can’t do much more about it, and it’s not like he is at fault. So, as much as he doesn’t want to hurt her he also isn’t about to ruin his own life to make sure she is doing alright. 

“That was mean,” Jaebeom’s low voice snaps him out of his thoughts. Youngjae looks at him just to find the other boy looking at him as well. “You’ve been together for a long time and that was just mean,”

It’s like he wants to say Youngjae shouldn’t treat Eugene that way but isn’t brave enough to tell him what to do or not to do. “We’ve been not. I’m not her boyfriend,”

“You are not?” Jaebeom looks more interested now, it’s the first time he shows Youngjae interest in anything he says. “You are always together though,”

“Huh,” Youngjae is dying to tease him, to comment on how he’s been paying attention to Youngjae for years now. He doesn’t do that, but he is more than pleased knowing he has been on Jaebeom’s radar. At least he hopes it’s him and not Eugene. “It’s not because we are dating, I couldn’t date her. My interests lie elsewhere,”

He doesn’t know if Jaebeom gets what he says but his face shifts, not shocked, not disgusted either. He just seems instigated, pensive. Youngjae can’t push it further, soon their math teacher is trying to get everyone to sit and be quiet. 

Youngjae has been enjoying classes now because it’s when he can just stare at Jaebeom while he pretends to pay attention to whatever is being said. But now he is right by his side, he can’t really stare ahead. For the first minutes of class he tries to pretend, he looks at the blackboard but then he just can’t do it anymore. Jaebeom is so close, he needs to steal a few looks. Soon a few looks turn into stares and Youngjae just won’t take his eyes out of the boy. 

He is sure Jaebeom notices it, there is no way he wouldn’t, he seems uncomfortable but for the most part he is paying attention to their teacher and even answering whatever question the woman asks. Youngjae is asked one question as well, not because the teacher usually asks him something but because he isn’t even trying to pretend to care for the subject. He isn’t embarrassed to admit he doesn’t know what she is talking about, but he knows she will contact his parents if it happens again. 

Even though Youngjae couldn’t care less for what his parents would have to say to him, it’s not the right moment for him to have an argument with them. He still has to play the perfect son who will do everything they want him to, so he does his best to pay attention, or to at least pretend he is hearing his teachers. 

He leaves at recess time just because he needs to eat and also because he doesn’t want to be confronted by Jaebeom for his stares. As if Jaebeom would ever confront anyone, Youngjae realizes it a few days later when he is still sitting by Jaebeom’s side and the boy hasn’t said anything. If he is still uncomfortable, Youngjae can’t really tell, he just knows he needs to do something about his plan. Just sitting there and exchanging a few words isn’t going to cut it. 

When classes end Youngjae doesn’t even wait for anyone to leave, he sits on Jaebeom’s desk as if he owns it. Jaebeom looks shocked as if he didn’t even remember Youngjae’s existence. 

“What are you doing this weekend?” 

“I-- me?” Jaebeom looks to his sides confused then back at Youngjae. “I’m working,”

“After work?” He tries again, making himself comfortable on Jaebeom’s desk, and making the other boy retract in his seat. 

“I’m working double shifts every day, I don’t have time--”

“You are a minor, where are you working this many hours? Should I tell on this place for you?” Youngjae stops him with a fake worried expression on his face, he knows damn well Jaebeom is lying to him. He believes the other has a job, but he won’t believe he will be working all weekend, and he won’t leave without scoring a date with Jaebeom, he just won’t. 

“It’s just… do you need something? Do you need help with homework or something?” Jaebeom hasn’t moved a centimeter since Youngjae sat there, almost everyone has left already so Youngjae doesn’t bother being discreet, getting even closer to him. 

“I want to go out with you, so give me your number and let me pick you up tomorrow,” Youngjae doesn’t wait for an answer, taking Jaebeom’s phone from him. If before Jaebeom seemed like his best option now he is the only one Youngjae wants. All the time staring at him, planning for this moment made Youngjae quite obsessed with the idea of having Jaebeom. “What’s your passcode?”

“111111,” Jaebeom says slowly as if he still doesn’t know what he is doing. Good. 

Youngjae unlocks it and is faced with a pic of a shirtless Jaebeom in the wallpaper, he will comment on it another time, for now it’s better if he doesn’t make Jaebeom more uncomfortable. He saves his number and texts himself so he can have Jaebeom’s number as well, smiling and feeling pleased with himself, Youngjae hands the phone back. 

“So, when it’s good for you?” Youngjae asks again and it’s as if it wakes Jaebeom up from whatever was going through his mind. 

“Youngjae, I don’t know why you’ve been acting this way. But, please just stop,” Jaebeom looks behind them to see that no one is left in the room, but it’s just the two of them, “if Yoonsoo put you up to it just tell him to face me himself, I’m done with these stupid pranks,”

“Do you think I am a prank?” Youngjae rolls his eyes annoyed, but he can understand why Jaebeom would find his actions strange. He should have waited more, befriended him, but at this point, Youngjae just can’t wait anymore. “I want to go out with you because you’re fucking hot. I’m into you, it’s not hard to understand. I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 7 o’clock, does that sound good?”

Jaebeom looks down at his hands then up at Youngjae, he nods slowly, but not a word leaves his mouth. That’s the answer Youngjae needed really, Jaebeom wouldn’t agree to go out with him if he wasn’t into boys as well, so at least he got that part covered. 

“I will call you,” Youngjae assures him, biting his lips. He wishes he could have Jaebeom right there and then but he can’t, so even though his body wants to lean in and steal a kiss he just waves goodbye at Jaebeom before he leaves the classroom.


	2. Your hand on mine

Youngjae has never had a date, at least not an actual romantic one. He never cared for stuff like had and he still doesn’t. It’s not like he has never done anything with another boy, he has found ways to do that without his family finding out, but he never cared for the dating part. This time he needed it to be different though, it had to be perfect, no matter how lonely Jaebeom seems to be, Youngjae doesn’t think he will fall for him just with sex. Youngjae needs to do more, he needs to make sure Jaebeom enjoys being with him or it won’t work. 

He is even working on a spreadsheet for the date, pros, and cons of his ideas when his mother comes into his room without knocking. Youngjae is used to it, he has become a master at changing tabs in less than a second. He closes the spreadsheet and pretends he was doing some reading for school. She doesn’t even look at the computer screen though. 

“Yeojin called me saying Eugene has been crying all week because of you,” it’s what she starts with. Youngjae looks down, annoyed but not wanting her to notice it, but she pulls his face up so he can look at her. “I thought you were a man who knew your duties within this family, what are you doing Choi Youngjae?”

“Mom,” it wasn’t supposed to happen. Even Youngjae’s initial plan has been changing, he was thinking about keeping Jaebeom only for himself at least for now. 

Sure, he still wanted to anger his parents, to show he was the one in control of his own life, but he should do it at his own pace so he doesn’t make it even harder for himself. Just angering them wouldn’t be enough, he needed his freedom, and he wanted to have Jaebeom, he wanted both. It was all because of Eugene, with her being back it would be way harder for Youngjae to do whatever he wanted without his parents finding out.

“You know I can’t ever love Eugene,” he tries even though he knows it won’t do anything. 

“So?” She is looking at him as if he is her biggest disappointment, he probably is. “You don’t need to love her, you just need to keep her happy until the wedding. You know we plan to join our families, for you more than anyone else. This is all for you,”

“How is it--” Youngjae wants to know how tying him up to someone he doesn’t love it’s something they are doing for him, but they have had this conversation a thousand times. What he wants for himself and for his future doesn’t matter, what he needs to be happy doesn’t matter as long as he is married to Lee Eugene. “I’m sorry, I’ll do better,” he says lowering his head once again, but he can feel the anger burning inside of him even stronger than before. 

“I’d hope so. I don’t want you out of this room, you're gonna have your meals here ‘till you solve this situation with Eugene,” she says and it’s final, Youngjae knows protesting won’t help. So he only waits ‘till she leaves and gets his phone so he can call Jaebeom. 

At first Youngjae plans on canceling their date, he knows it won’t look good for him, but he supposes it will be better to cancel it now than stand Jaebeom up. It doesn’t take Jaebeom long at all to answer the call and he sounds excited to talk to Youngjae. It sort of makes the boy forget about the reason why he called. He has been working towards this reaction, it all seemed impossible before, Youngjae will not throw this opportunity out of the window.

“Jaebeom-ah, I’m trying to come up with ideas for our date. What would you like to do?” He supposes the perfect date for Jaebeom would be something he actually wants to do. It is also a nice excuse for them to talk for a while. 

“I have no idea... I have never-- it would be my first date, I don’t know,” Jaebeom’s voice doesn’t sound as excited as before, it’s almost as if he is embarrassed about his confession. 

“Well, I have never gone on a date either, “ at Youngjae’s words he can hear Jaebeom’s relieved sigh, he likes it. “I want to make sure you have a good time though, so is there something special you would like to do?”

“Hum…” it takes a while for Jaebeom to say whatever it is that he wants to do but Youngjae waits patiently. He finds it cute for some unknown reason. “There is this small festival that happens once a month... I have always wanted to see it. It’s two hours away though, I don’t think we can go,”

“Two hours away?” Youngjae shouldn’t even be considering leaving the house, much less leave the city to see some dumb festival, he doesn’t even enjoy things like this. He could take Jaebeom to an expensive restaurant instead, maybe a luxury movie theater, he could give Jaebeom much more, he can’t believe he is going to agree to it. “We can go, but I think we should leave earlier, 7 would be too late,”

“It’s fine, I’m not really busy tomorrow,” Jaebeom admits, it’s not like Youngjae didn’t imagine that but he still makes a noise at the back of his throat for the lie. “Sorry, I was just nervous,”

“It’s okay. Text me your address, and we can agree on when we leave, yeah?” Youngjae is hyper-aware of how soft he sounds, of how out of character he is but he ignores it. It’s all for the greater good, all so Jaebeom will like him, he can do whatever for it to work out. 

They speak a bit more before Youngjae decides to hang up, afraid his mother will come back and hear his plans with Jaebeom. It doesn’t happen, and the next day he stays in his room as he was supposed to. Youngjae works by himself there just because he thinks he will lose his mind if he doesn’t move his body, it helps to an extent but it isn’t enough to shake his anxiety off. 

Sooyoung, their housekeeper, brings Youngjae his food but he can’t eat any of it. He has agreed to pick Jaebeom up in a few hours, that’s all he has in mind. He showers and does his best to look good, it would be stupid to try to look casual, Youngjae is into Jaebeom, he wants to get things moving. 

He feels a little self-conscious picking his outfit up, knowing his mother would tear him apart seeing his choices. But Jaebeom is the one he wants to impress, not some businessmen, he keeps telling himself. He goes for high waisted tight pants that he knows makes his waist look beautiful and slim, a gray shirt, and his favorite black sandals. Jaebeom always sees him in that ugly school uniform, there is no way he won’t feel something seeing Youngjae dressed like this. At least that’s what he hopes. 

Youngjae feels a little dumb, he never tried to impress any boy in any way, he tries to convince himself that it’s because of his plan, and somehow it isn’t a lie. But it’s also because of Youngjae’s newfound obsession, the way he wants Jaebeom more than he ever wanted anything before, it’s bigger than it was at first. Jaebeom is just challenging in a different way, he doesn’t feel impossible, he feels even easy at times, but it still excites Youngjae. He can’t wait for the moment he will have him, will have every bit of Jaebeom. 

He tries to ignore the feeling of vulnerability, he knows it’s not just him making a game out of it. Youngjae really feels like Jaebeom is a new necessity. But it’s not that easy to ignore it, it’s really hard when he is doing it all knowing all the backlash he will definitely get because of a boy. Because he wants this boy in an insane way.

And just like he knew it would happen, Sooyoung sees as he leaves the apartment, she doesn’t say anything. The house workers rarely speak to him, Youngjae is sure his parents made sure they wouldn’t have much contact with him. But even without saying a word, he knows she will let his mother know he left when he wasn’t supposed to. 

Youngjae is so scared the woman will show up at any moment that he flies out of the house before anyone can stop him. Even though Youngjae takes a cab it takes almost an hour to make it to Jaebeom’s place, he has no idea how Jaebeom manages to get to school so early living so far from it. When he gets there Jaebeom is already waiting for him at the building entrance. 

If Youngjae wasn’t obsessed before he definitely would be after seeing Jaebeom in everyday clothes. He doesn’t know why but he expected Jaebeom to look like a nerd outside of school, a weirdo or something, maybe the uniform preventing him from living his true self, but he didn’t. He didn’t look like a nerd but he didn’t look like the bad boy Youngjae insanely wanted him to be before, he looked warm, cozy but somehow still not approachable. He had no idea how he managed that. 

The jeans were the most stylish thing he was wearing since it was ripped, but apart from it he only had a really oversized white shirt, a jeans jacket, and a fluffy baby blue bucket hat. It was definitely nothing special but it made Jaebeom seem so real for him as if he wasn’t just someone Youngjae would see at school and never cross paths again after graduation. And it was what he wanted, he didn’t realize it before but he wanted to have more of Jaebeom. Wanted to have all of him. 

He walks up to Jaebeom who didn’t even acknowledge his presence yet, Youngjae won’t have it. He doesn’t care if Jaebeom is nervous or what, he will have a proper date. It also bothers him that over the phone it was way easier to get Jaebeom’s attention. 

“Ready to see the light on that festival of yours?” Youngjae walks even closer to him, but it doesn’t make it either. “Can we go?”

Youngjae is scared to ask if he changed his mind because it for sure looks like he did. But it’s not like he can force Jaebeom to get in a taxi with him and go to this damn festival he doesn’t even know where it is. 

“Can we do something else? I sorta don’t feel like going anymore,” he hates the way Jaebeom sounds. He liked it better when he was all defensive and doubting Youngjae, at least he didn’t sound like he was on the verge of tears or something. And unprovoked, Youngjae is sure he didn’t do anything. 

Not wanting to go to the stupid festival was better than not wanting to go out with Youngjae at all, so he isn’t saying anything about it. He isn’t commenting on how miserable Jaebeom sounds either. “That’s fine for me, we can go watch a movie, how does it sound?”

“Fine,” Jaebeom looks at him but he still looks weird, Youngjae wants to demand an explanation but he doesn’t think it matters. Whatever upset Jaebeom it’s none of his business.

Jaebeom keeps insisting on taking a bus, Youngjae doesn’t say it out loud but there is no way he will stay three hours on a bus to get to the damn theater. In the end, they take a taxi and Jaebeom looks so on edge all the time it’s starting to annoy Youngjae. He only realizes the reason when their ride is over and they have to pay the driver. 

Jaebeom takes a lot of money from his pocket, it startles Youngjae, he doesn’t know where all that money came from. But he pays the man before Jaebeom manages to give him the right amount. He can see it makes the other feel terribly uncomfortable but he pretends he doesn’t, it doesn’t matter to him. Jaebeom insists on paying for their tickets, Youngjae saw he has more than enough money for that but he is still suspicious about it and if he should let him spend all of that. 

“They are not normal tickets, this is a luxury experience. You don’t have to,” Youngjae starts but Jaebeom just shakes his head, not listening to him. 

He tries to buy the tickets but Youngjae can see he is having a hard time talking to the attendant so he walks to them, already feeling too tired even though they haven’t done shit yet. Jaebeom doesn’t know what to ask for, he doesn’t even know the basics. He probably never went to a theater quite like this, but it’s like he has never gone to a theater at all. 

Youngjae does his best to help him out but he lets Jaebeom pay for the tickets, they are even more expensive than he remembers them being but the other doesn’t comment on it. And if anything Jaebeom looks a little more relaxed after it, his shoulders aren’t as tense as before and his face isn’t so closed off. It feels more like a date now, at least it does once they finally enter the theater room. 

It’s nothing much, Youngjae was used to it, but then he looks over at Jaebeom and the boy even has his mouth open, he tries to not show it but he is awful at it. Jaebeom is looking at everything as if it’s out of a dream, Youngjae feels some weird kind of pride in his chest. He wanted to give Jaebeom an amazing date and he thinks he will succeed, at least he was right about the cinema. 

Jaebeom doesn’t say anything about it but he doesn’t have to. Youngjae finds their seats for them, pleased by the double seats. He usually hates it, sitting with someone else even if it’s one of his friends. But now he is more than happy to sit with Jaebeom. 

“Wow,” he hears it coming softly from Jaebeom’s mouth, making him smile. 

The boy pays attention to everything, every single detail in the room ‘till the movie starts. Youngjae doesn’t even know what movie they are watching, he only knows it isn’t Korean and they will have to read subtitles. At least Jaebeom will read them, Youngjae will watch Jaebeom instead, he tries to read his face and everything his expressions might mean. It’s clear that Jaebeom is happy and it’s the first time he sees any genuine emotion in his expressions, it’s fascinating, he doesn’t want to look away. 

Halfway through the movie, Youngjae is starting to get tired from waiting, he thought Jaebeom would put his arm around him. There is really no other reason for him to want to be in the dark with Jaebeom if not for that. Youngjae considers doing himself but no, he wants Jaebeom’s hands on him. He takes one of his hands on his own, and he observes as Jaebeom flinches but he doesn’t stop Youngjae. 

Holding hands would be nice, but he wants way more than that. His initial plan was to put Jaebeom’s arm over his shoulders, but then Youngjae placed his hands over his thigh. This time Jaebeom freezes, Youngjae keeps his hand on top so he can give him some reassurance. It works after a long time holding it there, he can take his hand away and Jaebeom doesn’t move it at all. On the contrary, before his hand was lying there flat but some loud noise comes from the speakers and Jaebeom squeezes his thigh. It lasts less than a second, but he is now holding Youngjae’s thigh, his hand isn’t just resting there anymore. 

Youngjae really had to hold himself in order to not move Jaebeom’s hand up. He wants, needs more, but he doesn’t want to scare Jaebeom off. He knows it would be too easy to do that, it’s like everything is new for the other so he needs to remind himself over and over again that he gotta make it enjoyable for Jaebeom as well. He should be his main priority. 

But he isn’t about to hold it off completely, when the move is over Youngjae makes sure to walk out of the cinema while holding Jaebeom’s hand, he gotta take a bit too. It feels so good to do that, Youngjae never thought about it, holding someone’s hand in public, he didn’t care for stuff like that. When he came out for his parents it was only because he hoped it would make them back off, give up on trying to make him go out with Eugene or with any other girl. 

He never thought it would give him any kind of freedom, never hoped for it. In Youngjae’s mind, he would only experience freedom once he moved out, still being with another boy wasn’t even what he was longing for. For him, freedom would be going wherever he wants to go, talk to whoever he wants to, eat freely, have whatever profession he had in mind, not living with anxiety and fear in his own house. He never thought freedom would come with being allowed to hold someone’s hand in the open. 

Now Jaebeom’s hand seemed to fit so perfectly with his own, it was a bit sweaty and it shouldn’t be so pleasant but right now it was, it was perfect for Youngjae. It made Youngjae want to interlock their fingers together, to hold on tight and never let go of him. But it was not his reality, not yet.

Jaebeom let go of his hand so he could check his phone, Youngjae could see over his shoulder a bunch of unread texts. He wanted to know who they were from but he knew it wouldn’t come out well, instead, he picked up his own phone, he had it turned off, he knew his parents would track him down if not. Just like he imagined there were over a hundred missed calls and even more texts, Youngjae wanted to scream. To take Jaebeom’s hand on his again and to just run away and leave everything behind. 

“It was… wow, I never watched anything so perfect. I mean the definition and the sounds, wow,” Jaebeom says when he finally lets go of his phone, he doesn’t look worried so it probably wasn’t anything too important. “Everything okay?” His face shifts when he notices Youngjae’s worried expression.

“Yeah, fine,” Youngjae tries to give him a smile but he can’t, he knows he is fucked. He probably won’t be able to use his phone or his credit card for the next few weeks. But when he notices Jaebeom is looking at him worriedly he guesses it was worth it. If Jaebeom cares for his well being, it was worth it. “It’s really fine. It’s just my parents wanting to know where I am,”

“Oh. You did have fun though, right?” Jaebeom sounds a little guilty, Youngjae doesn’t know why. He didn’t have fun, not in the way Jaebeom is asking. He doesn’t even know the name of the movie they watched, he didn’t eat anything, but he enjoyed his time, the warm touch of Jaebeom’s hand still lingering on his thigh. 

“Yes, a lot,” it’s not a lie then. “I better get going though, I’ll request an Uber for you--”

“Youngjae, you don’t have to worry. I just… thank you, I thought it would be--- I know you said you wanted to go out with me but I thought it would have a catch somewhere--” Jaebeom is stuttering a lot, clearly nervous again. 

“And still, you decided to come. If you were so worried why did you?” Youngjae should run home but Jaebeom is for once the one trying to talk with him, he is not missing this opportunity. 

Jaebeom blushes and looks down before he can say anything. “I wanted to do that-- go out with you,”

“But why,” Youngjae whines, he wants Jaebeom to be into him so badly. He doesn’t think he will admit it even if he is but it feels like he is so close to doing so, Youngjae has to ask. “Why did you want to be on a date with me?”

But then Youngjae’s phone starts ringing and it’s really loud, it ruins the moment, even more so when he sees it’s his mother. Jaebeom can see it as well by the way his face contorts. 

“You shouldn’t let your mom wait, she is worried about you. I will see you Monday… I really had fun today, Youngjae.” Jaebeom bows before turning around and walking away easily, so easily it annoys him. 

The moment called for a kiss, he doesn’t know why Jaebeom didn’t just kiss him, even a quick simple hug would be enough for Youngjae. He feels so empty watching Jabeom leave, he just answers the call from his mother and tells her where he is so someone can come to pick him up already. 

Youngjae doesn’t say anything when he gets home, and when his parents question him about his whereabouts and why he left he doesn’t say anything either. He has to listen to a long rant on why he is ungrateful and doesn’t deserve half of what they provide for him. Hours go by with them scolding him and with Youngjae only staring ahead, he pretends he isn’t there. His hand rests over the same spot Jaebeom had his hand on a few hours ago, he uses the feeling to take him back to that moment. 

It works, he barely registers what his parents say. All he can make out is that he can’t use his phone, can’t leave his room, can leave the house for school, and his other devices can only be used for school matters, for the next four weeks. Youngjae can’t pretend to care, he really doesn’t, they think they are taking his freedom away from him as if he ever had it. The first time he experienced freedom was when he had Jaebeom’s hand on his, and that they can’t take away from him. 

No matter what they take from Youngjae in a desperate manner to get him to do what they want. They won’t stop Youngjae from being with Jaebeom, from finding his freedom on the other.


	3. The cellphone

Getting to school one hour before classes started was just one more thing to add to the list of stupid things Youngjae has been doing because do Lim Jaebeom lately. He struggled to wake up earlier but the hour he spent alone with Jaebeom was more than worth it, and he slept all the way there anyway, it wasn’t so bad. 

Jaebeom was resting his head on his desk when Youngjae made his way inside the classroom, it was a little dark since the lights were turned off and the sun wasn’t shining all the way up in the sky just yet. Youngjae walked slowly to his own desk afraid he would wake Jaebeom up, he wished the other was awake but just watching him for a while was already better than staying at home with his parents for longer than he had to. 

After a while two other students got in the room, they were loud so it didn’t take long for Jaebeom to wake up. As soon as Jaebeom noticed Youngjae he got his phone and left the classroom, he didn’t even say anything. Youngjae sat there confused staring at his vacant seat. He thought they were doing fine, even before their date Jaebeom would bother at least greeting him, now he just walked away. The other boy never leaves this damn classroom unless he has to, so it made no sense for him to leave now the way he did. 

Youngjae feels himself grow bored and annoyed, he is only there this early because of Jaebeom and he doesn’t even have his phone with him for some distraction. It’s not so quiet in the room, but he can still hear a phone buzzing near him, he tries to ignore it, but it won’t stop. When Youngjae looks to his side he sees a weak blue-ish light coming from Jaebeom’s pencil case. He gets out of his desk to check it out and for sure it’s a cellphone, but he just saw as Jaebeom left holding it. 

Without thinking too much about it Youngjae takes the phone, he tries to unlock it but it’s not the same passcode Jaebeom has told him before, he doesn’t even think it’s the same phone. This one is smaller and a little older as well, now that he thinks about it this looks more like the phone he always sees Jaebeom texting away. Youngjae tries to unlock it again without success, he is about to put the phone back when he sees Jaebeom making his way back to the classroom, he panics and hides the phone in his pocket. 

The thing buzzes in his pocket non-stop during all class, Youngjae would give it back to Jaebeom if it wasn’t for the boy ignoring him. It makes him angry whenever he looks at Jaebeom, and the other is making sure to not even look his way. Youngjae wants to break the damn phone so that he doesn’t need to give it back. It would be a nice payback he supposes. 

“Youngjae-yah, wanna have lunch together?” Eugene approaches him at the end of their last class while he gets his things to leave. 

“I’m grounded,” he replies without looking at her, even if he wasn’t he wouldn’t go, thinks bitterly. 

“I know. Auntie said it’s okay if you eat with me and go straight home right after,” she says giving a tentative, hopeful smile. Youngjae considers it, he would rather eat out than going home, it would mean fewer hours in his room. It would also help him with his parents, they would probably not be so angry if he starts hanging out with Eugene more. 

Before he can agree to it he notices how Jaebeom hasn’t left yet even though he already has his backpack in his back. Youngjae wonders if he is jealous, and if it would make him more jealous knowing he would have lunch with Eugene. 

“Maybe another time,” he says at least. Even if it would make Jaebeom feel something and even if he would have at least a couple of hours free from his house he isn’t willing to give Eugene any fake hope. Or willing to spend time with her at all. 

Eugene assures him it’s okay and even gives him a smile, Youngjae knows it isn’t genuine this time. 

“Are you grounded?” He hears Jaebeom speaking from his side, he doesn’t even know if he was supposed to hear it considering how low his voice was. Youngjae stares at him just to roll his eyes and walk away. Jaebeom follows him, speaking more clearly this time. “What happened? Why are you grounded?”

“Why do you care? I thought you were ignoring me,” Youngjae snaps back, he was trying to pretend he wasn’t so mad but it wasn’t going to work. He has been working hard to make Jaebeom like him just for him to wake up one day and decide to not talk to him. 

“I-- I thought you were the one ignoring me. I texted and called you a lot after… you know,” Jaebeom admits, sounding embarrassed and making Youngjae stop walking to stare at him. 

He looks at Jaebeom incredulous, he hasn’t thought about that. He wants to smirk at the new piece of information. So, Jaebeom wanted to talk to him and was the one feeling ignored, it changes things. 

“Well, that’s a shame. I wasn’t ignoring you, I should though. Now I have to leave or I will be in much bigger trouble, thanks to you.” Youngjae doesn’t sound half as angry as he was feeling before but he doesn’t sound calm either. Jaebeom keeps walking with him though, following him like a lost puppy. “Do you need anything else?”

“Can I walk with you?” Jaebeom asks, making Youngjae smile, but he hides it. Jaebeom is kinda cute like that. 

“I won’t walk home or take the bus, I have a driver waiting for me,” he explains but it doesn’t stop Jaebeom from walking with him all the way to the car. 

They don’t talk, it’s a short way, they wouldn’t have time for that anyway. Before Youngjae gets in the car Jaebeom stops him to apologize again, he looks at him with big eyes that are really hard to say ‘no’ to. 

“Maybe you can make it up to me,” Youngjae says with a smirk that makes Jaebeom blush, but he still nods. 

It’s not much but it’s still enough to make Youngjae smile all the way home like an idiot. It’s only hours later after he eats, works on one of his thousand of homeworks, and even takes a nap that Youngjae remembers about the cellphone. He is bored out of his mind, so he decides to try and unlock it again. 

The passcode is obviously different from the other one, so Youngjae needs to be careful to not fuck up and not lock the phone for good. He supposes the passcode must be the same number six times as well, he doubts Jaebeom would go for something too complicated considering how easy the other one was. He tries ‘222222’ but it doesn’t work, then he tries ‘000000’ and just easily like that the phone is unlocked. 

Youngjae laughs out loud not believing how simple it was, Jaebeom is too damn predictable. He doesn’t know what exactly he wants to see there, he was more eager to break in than planning how he could use the phone. Before he can think much about it he gets another text, or better Jaebeom does. He opens it out of curiosity and there are a bunch of unread texts from the same person.

_ ‘hey boss we need more cake’  _

_ ‘gummies too’ _

_ ‘boss’ _

_ ‘??’ _

_ ‘will that do? ??’ _

_ ‘??’ _

_ ‘RU getting these?’ _

_ ‘cake and gummies just say if u have them’ _

_ ‘I need it tonight’ _

_ ‘text back’ _

He opens more texts from other people and all of them are asking for cake or for another kind of dessert, it’s weird as fuck. At first, he thought Jaebeom had no friends, no one to talk to, but it turns out he has two phones and this one is full of people demanding sweets from him, which makes no sense. Youngjae has no idea what it means, but it’s clear it is something important, they all seem desperate for Jaebeom to answer. 

It’s all too weird, texts keep coming in, some of them even seem to be worried for Jaebeom. He wonders if they don’t have Jaebeom’s number, the other number the one Youngjae has. Then Youngjae decides to check his pictures since he obviously can’t make sense of things just with these texts. He is met with more shirtless selfies, they are funny at first but pretty soon Youngjae finds himself feeling way too hot, he feels bad looking at them without permission though. 

He decides to stop looking before he sees more than he is allowed to, but before he can do that he sees a picture of something colorful. He zooms on it and it’s a bag of colorful pills, Youngjae gasps out loud at the sight, he might never have seen them in real life but he has a good idea of what those pills are. He can’t stop looking for it now, and he finds a lot of pictures of lots and lots of bags of those pills as well as money, way too much money. Jaebeom posing with money like criminals do in movies. 

Youngjae should be scared, he should destroy this phone and stay as far from Jaebeom as he could but he feels something burning inside of him, excitement. Jaebeom looks so damn hot in these pictures, so different from the Jaebeom he always sees studying non-stop. They almost don’t look like the same person, but they are and that’s the best part. Youngjae laughs again not believing what his eyes are seeing, Jaebeom is distributing drugs and he is dumb enough to keep evidence of that in his phone. 

“God, he must be so desperate after you,” Youngjae whispers down at the phone. He spends most of the day looking at the pictures and reading every text message on the phone, trying to make sense of everything, ‘till it’s dinner time and his parents want him to eat with them. 

He is in such a good mood he doesn’t even care for how awful his food is, his parents notice him smiling and his father asks if he is enjoying being grounded that much. Youngjae doesn’t bother answering, he hasn’t said one word to them since Saturday night, he doesn’t care. 

Going back into his room Youngjae is eager to keep going through the phone, but then the thing starts ringing, and Youngjae panics, afraid his parents will hear it. He declines the call but then it starts ringing again before Youngjae can put it in silent mode. So he answers the call just to make it stop. 

“Hello?” He hears a weird voice coming from the other side of the line. It’s not a human voice, it’s something like a robot’s voice device some old devices would have. Youngjae panics again and hangs up. This time he manages to turn silent mode on but he can still see more calls coming non-stop. Then he gets a text, from the same number. 

_ ‘I know where u at’ _

_ ‘come down here’ _

_ ‘I can give u money just come down’ _

_ ‘just bring the phone’ _

_ ‘I’m at ur building’ _

_ ‘<attached image>’ _

Youngjae reads all the texts slowly, he supposes Jaebeom was the one calling and sending him the texts. He has sent a picture from his building from the other side of the street. Youngjae can barely think straight when Jaebeom calls again, his best option is to answer the call, so he does. 

“Give the phone back, I will pay for it, just give it back,” he waits but Youngjae can’t say anything not yet, he imagines Jaebeom would hear the same robot’s voice he is hearing but first he needs to make sure of it. “Aren’t you scared? Because you should be, you should be scared for taking what is mine. Of what I can do to you,”

Jaebeom sounds threatening in a way Youngjae couldn’t even imagine he was able to. He sits on his bed so he can make sense of what is going on. He only wanted to have some fun, to get back at Jaebeom somehow, he would give the phone back in the morning, at least he was considering giving it back. But now he had Jaebeom in front of his apartment building threatening him. 

“I have people to take care of whoever gets in my way. It’s not pretty when they become part of it... I don’t need to call them though, all you gotta do is come down here and give my phone back. How does it sound?” The weird voice asks again. But if he was to do that he would have done it already. 

Jaebeom can’t come up to his apartment, and if he does anything like that someone would call the police and Jaebeom knows that. So, Youngjae hangs up and decides to text Jaebeom instead. 

_ ‘You should try and get it back then’ _

_ ‘But maybe… there is something I want for the phone’  _

Jaebeom texts back asking what he wants but Youngjae doesn’t reply to it, he turns the phone off so he knows it won’t be tracked down. He is anxious and nervous walking in circles in his room, but there is also that crazy excitement burning in his chest. Something Youngjae never felt, not quite like that.

Youngjae was scared when he threatened to call someone to take the phone, to deal with him, if it had happened before he wouldn’t believe it but after seeing the phone’s content he didn’t doubt a thing coming from Jaebeom. It was hard not knowing what to expect but it was also thrilling like nothing else. 

He couldn’t shut the adrenaline in his body down, he wanted to play this game. He wanted to know why Jaebeom was doing all that and maybe he could use it in his favor as well. Jaebeom was making a lot of money and that’s exactly what Youngjae needed in order to leave this house, if he had enough money he would be able to live his life and not the future his parents were planning for him. Holding Jaebeom’s hand was freeing, but it wasn’t real freedom, it felt like it but it wasn’t. Youngjae needed to go after his actual freedom. 

The next day in class Jaebeom didn’t show up, it was the first time he skipped school, at least Youngjae couldn’t remember when it has ever happened before in the past years. He can’t sit still, class is just boring without Jaebeom there. He is counting the seconds to go home, in recess Youngjae texts Jaebeom, he knows the other will be able to track him down but he is not in school so it doesn’t matter. 

_ ‘Why aren’t you at school? I would give it to you’ _

_ ‘I really would…’ _

Youngjae lies, he wouldn’t but it doesn’t hurt to play a little bit more. Jaebeom replies way too quickly as if he has been reading their previous conversation. He wants to get it now, promising he will get there quickly but Youngjae just sends a crying emoji and turns off the phone again. 

The rest of the classes aren’t so boring, or maybe they are but Youngjae doesn’t know because he can’t stop thinking about Jaebeom waiting for his texts, waiting for Youngjae to approach him, waiting for a small sign, anything. He shouldn’t find it so pleasant but for him it is. The only problem is that it’s not fun enough. 

Youngjae would keep this up for a few more days, but then when Jaebeom doesn’t show up at school for the third day in a row and he grows tired of waiting. He asks Eugene to lie to his mother and say that they are together, she clearly feels uncomfortable but she agrees to it. And since he has Jaebeom’s address it is not that hard for him to make up his mind. 

It doesn’t take him as long as he thought it would to get to Jaebeom’s place from school, he has to knock for a long time for Jaebeom to finally open the door. He stands in front of Youngjae only in his dirty t-shirt and blue boxer shorts. 

“What are you doing here?” Jaebeom wines, blushing and trying to hide behind the door. Youngjae pushes past him, not caring for Jaebeom’s loud protests. 

He looks at the small apartment, it’s not so small but it’s not big either, it’s just a real mass, he can see dirty clothes and dirty dishes literally everywhere. Almost as if a teenager lives there by himself.

“What even,” he mumbles to himself while Jaebeom slips into sweatpants and tries to make the apartment look more presentable, not being very successful at that. “I brought you something since you didn’t show up at school in the past days,”

Youngjae shoves the small cake container he got for Jaebeom in a bakery he found on his way. The boy stares at it and then back at Youngjae, clearly confused and looking too cute like that. “Why did you bring me a mini cake?”

“Why are you, student number 1, skipping school even though you don’t seem sick?” Youngjae shoots back ignoring his question, he is annoyed at the lack of Jaebeom in class. He knows it’s probably his fault but it doesn’t change how he feels. “I missed you,”

“I’ve been a little busy,” Jaebeom deflects, and even though he can see the light blush in his cheeks it still annoys Youngjae. 

It’s not often that he admits to missing someone, or anyone really and what he gets it’s Jaebeom almost begging for him to leave. “I wanted to see you, I bring you food and that’s how you repay me?”

“What should I do?” He seems genuinely confused. He can almost fool Youngjae, but not anymore, he now knows Jaebeom isn’t as innocent as he tries to appear. 

“Where are your parents?” Youngjae looks around, he doesn’t want anyone walking on them now. 

Jaebeom looks around as well, he hugs himself unconsciously, having left the cake at the computer desk, not paying much attention to it. He looks small and as if that’s not something he wants to talk about, Youngjae doesn’t know if he should take it back, he knows Jaebeom isn’t an orphan but he doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable. 

“They are just… my mom lives in a clinic now, because of her health and all…” Jaebeom starts, Youngjae thinks that will be all, he doesn’t need to give him everything but the other keeps going. “She is very sick, we couldn’t live together anymore. And my dad was never around anyway, so, it’s just me,”

“Huh,” Youngjae nods at his words. He feels guilty even though it isn’t his fault, he didn’t know Jaebeom was going through that. He has been playing around while Jaebeom has been having a hard time. Youngjae doesn’t even know what to do with himself now, doesn’t know what to say. 

“You don’t need to feel bad, it’s okay,” he gives Youngjae a smile that only proves nothing it’s okay. He looks really hurt and like he hasn’t been sleeping well, the sleeping part probably because of all the trouble Youngjae has been causing. “Really, thank you for the food, and thanks for checking on me. I wasn’t feeling so well, but I’ll be back in school tomorrow. So, you can go...”

Youngjae nods again, if he was a good person he would just give Jaebeom the phone back and get this over with. But that’s not why he came here, Youngjae was still thinking about himself, he still is his number one priority. That’s why his idea for visiting Jaebeom was to tell him he had the phone and propose for them to work together, he wouldn’t give it back without getting anything for it. 

He needed the money and getting on Jaebeom’s business seemed like the easiest and faster way to get it. But now it didn’t seem like the best idea anymore. Jaebeom wouldn’t want anything to do with him if he knew Youngjae took the phone and was now trying to use it for money. 

And as much as Youngjae knew things with Jaebeom wouldn’t be exactly the way he planned at first he didn’t want to give up on it just yet. He wasn’t going to give up on the selling drug thing either, he wanted the money more than he wanted Jaebeom. But if he could choose he would choose both things. Maybe he could wait a little bit more, for now he would just keep the phone turned off and go back to his initial plan. The one where he gets Jaebeom for himself. 

“Since I’m already here we could hang out. Watch a movie or something,” Youngjae already knows the answer before he gets it. Jaebeom looks like he would rather do anything else than having him there. “Come on, you live really far from school and I came just to see you. Don’t be a dick,”

“I-- Youngjae, I need to get to something. I mean there is something I really need to solve, I’m sorry but I don’t have time now,” Jaebeom tries to explain with a sorry look on his face. He doesn’t seem to be lying and Youngjae thinks he must be talking about the phone thing. Not like he will be able to do anything now, but not as if Jaebeom knows it either. 

“It’s okay, I can wait for you to do your thing,” Youngjae gives him the biggest smile he can manage, knowing Jaebeom will feel bad denying him again. He is really that easy every time.

And it works just fine, Jaebeom asks Youngjae to watch TV while he does his things. And that’s what he does, watches TV from Jaebeom’s bed, feeling like he just achieved something big with that. Jaebeom sits at his desk, using his laptop and his phone, he will swear from time to time, low enough that he probably thinks Youngjae can’t hear him, he can. He seems really frustrated and angry, of course, he is trying to locate his phone without success. Youngjae would be scared of how mad he seems but it’s not like he can do anything to him now. The sight isn’t exactly scary for him either. 

Soon he gets distracted by the TV forgetting all about Jaebeom, it takes the other boy a few hours but then he joins Youngjae on the bed with the cake the boy brought him and two spoons. 

“What are you watching?” Jaebeom asks as he hands him one of the spoons. He lies on his stomach just like Youngjae. They aren’t very close and it doesn’t feel crazily intimate, but it still feels good enough. 

Whenever Jaebeom shifts in the bed and Youngjae can feel the warmth coming from his body it’s like the boy is taken to another world. He can’t think straight and he can’t function well, he is grateful for them being in silence so Jaebeom can’t notice anything. 

They watch some random episodes of Gravity Falls until it gets really late and they are already done with the whole cake. Youngjae needs to get home, he is already fucked as it is, staying for longer wouldn’t make much of a difference but if he doesn’t leave now he doesn’t know if he will be able to leave at all. 

Jaebeom thanks him for coming over again, which is really just him being clueless about Youngjae’s true intentions. He even seems a bit disappointed that Youngjae has to leave and promises to see him in school the next day. 

“So, are you not mad anymore? Have I made it up to you?” Jaebeom asks at the door when Youngjae is already outside and he holds the doorknob as if his life depends on it. 

“Nah, I will tell you when we are even,” Youngjae gives back. And this time he is being genuine with his words and his feelings. He was happy spending the day with Jaebeom, but he wants more than that. He wants another proper date, he wants to have Jaebeom. Youngjae wants much more from him. 

“I will work harder then,” Jaebeom says, cheering for himself. And it’s so cute the way he does that it almost distracts the Youngjae from what he will be finding at home but not quite. 

Youngjae felt like he made some progress, even though he didn’t do what he planned to do when he went to Jaebeom’s place it feels like the outcome was better than he could have wished for. Even if it wasn’t much he felt as if Jaebeom looked at him in a much warmer way, this time he wasn’t angry for not getting a kiss, he knew he was walking towards it. The problem about it all was disobeying his parents without a backup plan, it wasn’t exactly something Youngjae was used to do. He was good at getting away with whatever he did but not without planning every little step beforehand. Now the boy knew he was screwed and there wasn’t much he could do. 

When he made it home it was already past 10 PM, and it wasn’t surprising in the least to find his mother waiting for him in the living room. She had her tablet in her hands but she placed it by her side the moment she saw Youngjae entering the apartment. She didn’t seem mad, there was no expression at all on her face. 

“Dinner is served, it has been served for hours now. Let’s eat,” it’s all she says before she leaves the couch without waiting for Youngjae. 

The boy, of course, follows her. He doesn’t understand why she isn’t saying anything but he doesn’t get his hopes up either, he knows something is coming. The woman never waits for him to eat, Youngjae is more than used to eating by himself, so it’s obvious for him this is because he disappeared all day. He just doesn’t know what she is planning. 

They eat in silence, Youngjae doesn’t have to eat the awful salad he eats every night. He eats the same as his mother and she doesn’t say anything about it. 

“Is it good, honey?” She asks while Youngjae does his best to eat even though he doesn’t feel hungry at all. He ate a lot with Jaebeom and he is so uncomfortable with the way his mother is acting even if he was starving he wouldn’t be able to enjoy the food. 

“Yeah, it’s delicious,” he lies, not even being sure of how it tastes. 

“Your father asked about the report you were supposed to turn in two days ago,” she says with a smile, making Youngjae almost choke on his food. His parents don’t need his reports, it’s something they always make him do simply to train him for when he becomes the company’s CEO. Youngjae has always done them, it’s the first time he forgot about it, completely forgot about it. He has no idea what it was even about. 

“I will-- hum, I will… I’m almost done with it, I will submit it soon--”

“And I also talked to your teachers, you don’t seem to be doing your homework either or even paying attention to class. Which is surprising since you don’t have anything else to do. You live in this apartment for free, we pay for all your expenses and you pretty much have anything you could ever ask for. Yet you don’t seem to find time to meet your obligations,” the soft tone never leaves her voice nor does her kind smile. 

Youngjae pushes his plate away, knowing he won’t have to keep the pretense of eating anymore. He tries to think of something, anything that could explain the accusations but it’s really hard to think with the way he’s been stared down. 

“You’re also being rude to your soon-to-be wife, lying about spending time with her... And even spending the entire day out with someone else when you’re grounded. I don’t understand what is going on if you, could you be kind enough to explain it to me,”

“Actually, I think I have a vitamin deficiency? I mean, that’s why I didn’t come home earlier. I was feeling really weak so I went to this clinic and…” Youngjae can hear the words leaving his mouth even though he didn’t plan them well enough. He knows that’s a stupid lie but that’s all his brain came up with and now he can’t back off. “They told me to go see the family’s doctor after they gave me some pills. That’s why I’ve been distracted and all. And I couldn’t call since I don’t have my phone with me, so… yeah.”

“Aren’t you tired of being so useless to us? Are you not embarrassed coming up with lie after lie?” She tsks, then she slowly takes a sip of her wine.

“Mom, I really wasn’t feeling well--”

“We keep giving you chances, but I don’t see why when you’re good for nothing when you’re not even worth it. Your father wants to send you to the boarding school in Belgium again but I don’t see why,” Youngjae feels cold all over, his hands shaking and mouth completely dry. He has studied abroad when he was younger, and if he feels like he is in prison now it was way worse before. It was hard to breathe even remembering that place. “You’re not going to change, are you? You’re just looking for a way to stab us in the back, it’s just who you are, an ill soul, ready to destroy everything we’ve built. The school didn’t work before, why would it work now, am I right?”

“I just don’t love Eugene and I wanted to have fun with my friends. It’s not that I’m a bad person, it’s really not a big deal--” Youngjae has tears in his eyes, and even though his voice is shaky he won’t allow himself to cry. He wishes he could look strong in front of her but he just sounds like a small kid. “I’m sorry about the report and about my school work, I will do better,”

“You admit to lying about being sick and you want me to believe you can do better?” She shakes her head staring at him, face still blank ‘till it morphs into some sort of disgust Youngjae hasn’t had directed at him since the night at the hospital two years ago. “If you’re not going to carry our legacy we don’t need you. Set your mind straight and do everything we taught you to do, or else you won’t be any use for us and we will have to do something about it,”

“I will. I will be the best son you could ever have asked for. Just please don’t send me away, I can’t go again,” Youngjae didn’t want to beg for anything, but that’s his only option. He can’t go to that country all by himself, live in that school where he can’t do anything without someone watching over him, where he is treated like a project. Where it’s impossible to breathe. 

But Youngjae doesn’t plan on staying here and becoming their puppet for the rest of his life either. It’s not an option. Still, he promises all kinds of things to his mother ‘till she agrees to sort things out with her husband. She didn’t think Youngjae staying away even if supervised was a good idea for what they have planned for him, all Youngjae has to do now is not disappoint her again. 

She even gives Youngjae his phone back, he wasn’t grounded anymore, not because he deserved it but because she needed to see if she could trust him with his freedom. Whatever freedom she might think this is. She shouldn’t trust him though, Youngjae thought to himself, she really shouldn’t but he will make sure she believes that’s the best decision she could have ever made. 

After Youngjae is finally allowed to go to his room he stares at Jaebeom’s contact in his phone for a long time, considering what to do. Then he takes Jaebeom’s ‘drug dealer phone’ and turns it on instead, he calls himself just to make sure the voice at the other side of the call isn’t his own. And he was right about it, the phone converts his voice to the robot’s one, it’s all good. 

Without thinking too much about it Youngjae calls Jaebeom, he only needs to try twice before the other finally picks up. He sounds frenetic, swearing at Youngjae but the boy cuts in before he can say much more. 

“I said I wanted something, remember?” Youngjae feels breathless out of nowhere, but he is sure of it. “And the thing I want is you. I want you Lim Jaebeom. Give yourself to me and I will give you back the phone,” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not feeling that good about my writing lately but tried, not the best but here have it :)  
> i will do some thinking before next chapter :))

**Author's Note:**

> if u think youngjae is an asshole ur right, but honestly he will be nothing but good to jaebeom and he will take care of baby :(  
> till next chap


End file.
